a healthier Mia

Newborns change so quickly. I remember Laci's face changing everyday those first few weeks of her life...Mia is no exception. After only 48 hours, she already looks plumper, pinker, and older. Mama's milk is putting some chunk in her cheeks and I like it.

She looks good...healthy.  The dressing on her incision was removed and I saw her scar for the first time.  It isn't terrible, it is large, but not terrible.  The surgeons did a good job.  I hope it fades as she gets older.  I know someday she'll grow up and want to wear a swimsuit, and I don't want her to be self conscious about it.  I hope she wears it proudly, as proof of her tenacity and strength.  I hope it helps remind her that she is capable of doing anything she puts her mind to.

We arrived this afternoon in time for her 2 o'clock feeding. I changed her diaper and she tried to poop on the me (not the first time she has done this), then I struggled to keep her awake long enough to get 30 mL in her (just about an ounce). The girl sleeps good...really good...like, halfway through the bottle she goes out and cannot be awoken despite my unwrapping her, tickling her, talking to her, even jiggling her around. I can only hope this continues when we're home. And while much of the milk dribbles out the side of her mouth, I have to believe that at least some nourishment is making it into her tummy. The proof is in her chubby cheeks and in her tiny, stinky diaper.

The attending doctor this week is the same doctor who was here when Mia was admitted. She is an amazing woman who worked all night and into the following day to help save our baby. She is pushing the surgeons to increase Mia's feedings a little quicker so the broviac can be removed. I think she knows how tough Mia is and she wants to send Mia home as swiftly as we want to take her.  I don't have an exactly timeline at this point, but I'm sure it won't be much longer now.

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Last night, as we were sitting around my parents' backyard, visiting and chatting, watching Laci play with the dog, this whole experience seemed so far away. Almost as if it hadn't happened. As if the last nine months of being pregnant hadn't happened. As if I hadn't given birth to a baby who almost died and is now living in a hospital until she is well enough to come home. It might sound strange, but, for just a moment, it felt like our little family was still just Ryan, Laci, and I and we were visiting my parents for dinner like usual. Bringing Mia home will be a huge adjustment for all of us, an adjustment I have expected and prepared for, and one I'm ready to make. I'll be glad when I have a baby to hold to remind me that this was all real.