due date

Today is Mia's official due date.  I always assumed she'd be born early, but I never figured things would turn out how they have.  Now, she is 24 days old, much healthier than when she was born, and if all goes well in the morning, will be coming home with us tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

I can hardly believe it even as I type it.  And I don't think I'll truly believe it until we're walking out of the hospital and taking our baby with us.

Her appetite has increased so much in the last couple of days and she has started gaining weight again.  Her broviac and ECMO sutures will be removed in the morning, and then we'll wait for the doctors to make rounds and give us the go ahead.  I can hardly believe how far she has come in the past 3 1/2 weeks, she truly is a miracle baby.  Other than her scars and her quick breathing, you'd never know what she has been through.

Tomorrow she will come home with us.  I'm looking forward to so many things about being home with her, but the best part will be Laci and Mia truly "meeting" each other.

Tomorrow will be the best day I've had in a long time.

***

Earlier today, I was reading the CHERUBS Facebook page which promotes research for congenital diaphragmatic hernia.  Families with CDH babies and children can post their stories and find support and information about the defect.  Some are stories of survivors, some are not.  Many of the stories tell of babies who have survived, but are struggling with various complications, or of babies who have spent months in the NICU and are still not able to go home.  Three weeks ago, I couldn't look at this page for more than a few minutes.  It was hard enough to face Mia's fragile condition without thinking about the future complications of recovery.  Tonight, I am able to read these stories and realize how truly lucky we are to have such a strong, amazing baby.

I never should have doubted her strength.  Less than a week before she was born, I wrote about how strong she felt when she kicked me from inside.  When I saw her struggling for life, I temporarily forgot what she had been telling me for months...that she is a strong-willed, feisty girl who can kick like the dickens.

As I type this, I'm sitting in the same hotel where we stayed our first night, 24 very looooong days ago.  It feels appropriate, like we have come full circle, and now that the circle is complete, we can walk away from it.  If I could go back and have a perfectly healthy baby, I would, and I'm soooo relieved for us to move on with our lives as planned.  But, I will also say, I am at least a little bit thankful to have gone through an experience like this.

I am thankful for the lessons in faith, prayer, and love.  I am thankful for learning more about myself and my abilities.  I am thankful for learning more about my husband and the family and friends in our lives.

I am thankful for having seen some very dark days so that the lighter days seem extra bright.  Tomorrow will be very bright, I'm sure.