all I want for christmas

It took me three years to realize Laci's thumbs are double-jointed, notice the crooked looking thumb in the picture.  I checked Mia's little fingers and thumbs that same day.  It only took me a year to realize Mia is also double-jointed, not just her thumbs, but every little finger, too.  I'm two years ahead of the game with her.  And to think, I'm constantly telling Laci to pay attention.

Last Monday (a week and a half ago now), we took the girls out for pizza. After dining for over an hour with the two slowest eaters on earth, we bundled up in the car and drove around town looking for the best Christmas light displays. We found some good ones, some mediocre ones, and one amazing one synced to music. I won't lie, I parked there for fifteen minutes because I wanted to see what the next song would look like. It was the best hour ever spent in the car with my kids. Even Mia was excited about the lights, as she pointed with her fingers and made happy grunty noises.

Now, every time we get in the car, Laci asks to see Christmas lights and it usually isn't difficult to convince me to detour from our regular route in order to see a few brightly lit yards. "Now what window?" she asks after each house, making sure she doesn't miss any by looking out the wrong window. The season has become truly magical in her eyes and it is such a joy to watch.

The other night, we wrote out her Christmas wish list and this is what she asked for, in her own words:

Walking toy puppy
Pretend toy dog bones
Puppy treats, pretend ones
Dog food and water
Pretend doggy toys

Are you catching a theme here?

Then she added a "quab" (quad).
And paper for painting.

Since Mia isn't big enough to speak for herself, I asked Laci what Mia would want.

Apparently, Mia wants a real doggy and doggy toy.

I asked her if Mia would like a spaceship, because I like to ask weird questions just to see how she'll respond.

"Yes! But not a real one, a pretend one."

Well, that's good because I don't know where to get a real one.

Of course, if you asked Mia, I think she would say the only thing she wants for Christmas is to make sure no one takes her french fries.

I can't wait until Christmas morning when, hopefully, all her little wishes come true. Well, except for the quad thing and the real doggy thing. But the rest, I can deliver.

And tonight, I have a date with a glass of wine, a warm fire, and some wrapping paper. I think I'm finally done shopping and I'm ready to get this holiday wrapped up. Literally.

What do you want for Christmas?

"i want to go to school"

On our way to the post office today, we passed a school during recess.  There were little kids running, swinging, yelling, and playing.  Laci asked, "What's that?"

"A school," I told her.

"I want to go to school!" she announced.

She announced it five more times in the car, a couple of times in the post office, and at least once more on the way home.

"When you get a little bit bigger," I explained to her.

"But I AM getting bigger," she insisted.

And she is getting bigger.  Everyday.

It was our decision to not send her to preschool this year.  A decision I'm glad we made.  She has plenty of years ahead of her to spend in a classroom, but for now, I want her to be little.  I want her to play and snuggle with her momma.  I want to protect her innocence.  I want to be selfish and keep her for my own, just a little bit longer.

***

A woman in line at the post office was making conversation.  I'm not really good at that talking-to-strangers thing.  My mom is a whiz at that, she can make a friend anywhere.  This woman mentioned, "It's so sad about that school."  I didn't really know what to say, except to agree.

I thought about how everyone is thinking about "that school" right now.  How I thought about "that school" just moments before when Laci was so adamant about going to school, too. Like so many others, I sat glued to the TV on Friday, hearing the story of the students and teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  I'll admit I cried, on more than one occasion.  I felt sad, and angry, and physically ill at the loss of those little lives, as well as the adults that were taken.  I tried to imagine what those parents must be experiencing, but it is impossible to really KNOW until you have been in those shoes.

I had planned a post for last Friday, something about Laci's wish list for Christmas, but it felt too light-hearted on such a sad day.  I remember when Mia was born and very sick, when we weren't sure if she were going to live.  Time stopped for me.  My life existed only within the confines of that hospital and nothing else seemed to matter except that my baby was still breathing.  But on the outside of that hospital, life kept going for everyone else.  It was very strange to feel so separate from a world that I was very much a part of. And while my experience is nothing near as difficult as what those parents are going through, I can imagine they feel the same way.  Life for them has stopped for a bit, and will never, ever be the same again.  But the rest of the world must carry on, time won't wait.  I truly hope they are finding the peace and courage they will need to pick up the pieces and carry on.

I wonder how long it will take for this most recent tragedy to become dim.  It is still fresh news, and has already become the means by which so many are pushing their own agendas.  More gun control.  Less gun control.  Health care reform.  President this.  Political that.  It makes me kind of sick.  I stopped reading my Facebook feed because I couldn't take how impersonal it had become.  I would venture to say that not a single one of those parents is questioning the politics of this country.  It is much more likely that they are clinging to whatever spiritual beliefs they hold and digging deep, through prayer or meditation or whatever they believe, to find a way to survive and heal.  It would be nice if the rest of America would give them the space to do just this.

I had never intended to make this post so long, or that I would share my opinion so openly, but there it is.  These words have been forming in my head for several days, and for whatever reason, have found their way here.  It isn't nearly as eloquent or concise as I had imagined, but I have little time for editing and proofreading.  It has been a long week, with many ups and many downs, aside from the school shooting, and I'm just trying to sort through it all.  Most of all, I'm very thankful right now for two innocent little girls who are oblivious to the terrible things that can happen, and when I'm feeling uncertain, I can look in their eyes and see what pure innocence, honesty, and love look like.

What helps you through difficult times?

light {you capture}

At the beginning of the year, I faithfully linked up with You Capture each week.  It helped occupy me with something fun and "pretty" to do while the rest of my life was a little disorganized.  But lately, it has been pushed to the side by all the little things in life that make us "busy."

So, why link up this week?

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I'm taking an online workshop that teaches the technical foundation of taking pictures:  the exposure triangle, setting white balance, basic composition, etc.  A small part of our assignment last week was "finding the light," so, part of the reason is because I conveniently had taken multiple pictures that would fit the theme.  While there are probably many things wrong with this photo, technically speaking, I was really proud of it and would like to add that it is completely untouched...straight out of the camera.

And the other reason?

I'm just finishing up my fourth and final week in the Clickin' Moms Shooting 101 workshop and can't believe how much technical knowledge I've gained. The class could be called "photography boot camp," and I feel I have learned more in four weeks than I have in the past three years of scouring the internet.  I can now honestly say I have a firm grasp on how to take a great picture straight out of the camera.  Now all I need is about 50,000 frames of practice and I might be confident in the actual execution of those concepts.  I have known about Clickin' Moms for a couple of years, but was reluctant to pay for information that is widely available elsewhere for free.  But now, I can honestly say, it has been worth every penny spent (even if some of that money was my parents').

So, to get to my point:  I probably never would have signed up for this course if it had not come so highly recommended by Beth (the lovely lady who hosts You Capture each week, as well as being wife, mother to four, and fantastic photographer, for those of you who don't know her).  It is likely Beth has never even visited my blog, but she has played a small part in helping me enjoy something I've grown to love:  taking pretty pictures.  It really makes you appreciate this crazy thing we call the internet and the connections that can be made when it is used properly.

Click here to enjoy Beth's lovely "light" photos, and all the others that have linked up this week.

*** I just want to add that neither Clickin' Moms or Beth have asked me to promote them, their business, or their websites.  I know several women who have recently purchased a camera, or have their eye on a new one, and there is nothing I would love more than to share my love of photography with them.  I would highly recommend either of these sources if you are interested in learning how to take better pictures.

tis the season for joy

Only rarely do I find myself with time to write and nothing to say.  It happened to me twice this week.  I sat with a hot drink of something, kids otherwise occupied, and a blank screen in front of me.  And twice, it stayed blank.

Yesterday, as a last resort to write something...ANYthing...I started writing a list of the little things happening in my life right now that make me happy.  I wrote this list twice, using Blogger on my phone, and twice, it did not save properly.

And so, I find myself right now, my coffee cold and almost empty, Mia is napping, Laci is outside with her daddy, and if it's the last thing I do, I will write this list and save it properly.

In no particular order, and completely unrelated to the photos being shared, here is a list of the things that are currently bringing me bits of joy.

* The evening dance parties with the girls that have become almost a nightly occurrence. 

* How Mia calls almost every person, "Daddy" and every dog, "Bailee."

* The way Laci starts her most informative sentences with, "Ya know..."  Just yesterday I was informed, "Ya know momma, kitties can stand up on their behind legs."

* Seeing the Christmas tree lights twinkle through the dining room window when I come up the driveway after dark.

* The way Laci says, "Hey, this song is about Christmas!" every single time a Christmas song plays on the radio.

* How Mia would love to eat spaghetti for every meal, probably for the rest of her life.  And if she sees someone else eating spaghetti, she throws a fit until she gets her own.

* How Laci insists on bringing her favorite puppy with us everywhere, making sure it is warm and fed.  Just now she went outside, leaving me in charge of taking care of the puppy.  "Make sure you feed him," she tells me.

* Warm fires.  Inside.  Enough said.

* The excitement in Laci's eyes as she moves the star to the next position on our advent calendar.

* Seeing my sister's belly grow, knowing we get to meet a new family member soon.

* Spending evenings on the couch with Ryan, watching our favorite shows, and crocheting something cute.

* How my kitchen still smells like warm banana bread from the loaf I made this morning.

* How Mia's pony tail keeps getting taller, but there isn't anything else I can do with her hair since it's always in her face, she pulls out all barrettes, and she only sits still for approximately 3.2 seconds.

What are you enjoying right now?

what November looked like

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to spend a few minutes each day documenting the small pieces of our life that make up the "everyday."  I've been pretty good at the "big" stuff lately, like baby showers, vacations, and Thanksgiving.  But what about the stuff like playing with blocks, and eating dinner.  After all, that is what consumes most of our time these days.  And I don't mean documenting every single little thing we do, just a little piece of each day.  Then I wouldn't feel the need to upload thirty-something pictures and make it a giant post called "November."

In November:

We stacked wood and took walks around the field.

Mia tried to wear baby doll shoes.

Mia loved on her baby.

And Laci loved on her puppies.

Laci practiced her silly faces.

And Mia rearranged my spice cabinet 371 times.

We turned the gravel pile into a playground.  Which seems to be a regular thing in our yard.

 

Laci painted.

Mia colored.

Laci discovered the awesomeness that is glitter (and wore those elephant pajamas a lot).

 

And I attempted, on more than one occasion, to pose my children for cute pictures.

Some were more successful than others.

And often, I just settled for another back of the head shot.

And that, my friends, is what November looked like.