my 2014 photo project

I am attempting another 365 project this year.  What's a 365 project?  You take a photo a day, every day, for a whole year.  I finished one in 2012.  A photo a day of the girls.  I did have to cheat some here and there, but I ended up with a collection of photos that I love and that are, sadly, waiting on my hard drive to be printed.  I tried another one last year, fizzled out sometime in April, and then gave myself a free pass to quit.  I don't regret it.  It was getting stressful.  But, I did know that I wanted to try again this year. 

Why do a project at all when I'm already being pulled in so many different directions?  A few reasons.  One, I needed to do something that challenged me in a creative way, aside from figuring out how to keep three kids clean, healthy, and happy while simultaneously keeping our home halfway tidy and being a wife.  Two, I'm really wanting to improve my photography skills, but have limited time, so shooting just a few minutes everyday seems to be something I can handle. And three, because I'm stubborn and refuse to ever admit that I can't do all the things.

All.  The.  Things.  I say it a lot lately.  And while I know I can't actually do all.  the.  things.  I certainly do try.  And then some.

I decided they would all be phone camera shots.  I always have my phone with me.  I can edit my shot, on my phone, while cooking dinner, and singing Frozen songs.  Multi-tasking at its best.  The handy dandy phone camera is probably the only reason I might succeed at this project.  Plus, a part of me wants to prove that it's not the equipment that makes the photographer.   

If you're on Instagram, I apologize, these shots are all repeats.  But, I wanted to post a few favorites here.  I certainly won't be posting all 365 of them.  When you're doing a project like this, I think one of the hardest things you must accept is that not every shot is going to be amazing.  You have off days.  Days when you forget to shoot until after the sun goes down.  Days without inspiration.  But you shake it off, pick your shot for the day, and move on.  Because the next day, you might end up with something you really like. 

And if you're wondering, I'm following the daily word prompts from Clickin' Moms (@clickinmoms on IG).  There are probably a hundred different 365 project prompts available on the internet, this just so happens to be the one I'm following.

"the sky today"

"backlight"

"table top"

"dry"

"clouds"

"emerging"

"perfect"

"glittery"

"out and about"
I was super excited when this one was feature on the Clickin' Moms blog!!

"juxtaposition"

"reflection"

"three"

I try to include the kids as much as possible, but they are generally less than cooperative.  And, honestly, it's nice to have an excuse to shoot something different.  The best part?  For the first time in a long time, I feel good about what I'm creating.  

photography chat

It's no secret that I love photography. It's technical, it's creative, it challenges me. Sometimes too much. Lately, I've spent more time being frustrated than inspired. I dream big, always have. So when I don't land where I'm hoping, I want to give up completely.

I feel limited by my equipment, my incomplete knowledge, and the small amount of time I can devote to learning and practicing. And while I know that the most important thing is to capture memories for my kids (who won't care about white balance or composition), I find myself picking each image apart. I get so frustrated when I completely miss focus or exposure. Often, after loading the pictures on my computer, I need a cool down period before I can enjoy the memories instead of critiquing them. 

So yesterday morning, when there was plenty of light in the room and the sheets were in the wash, I decided to have a little photo shoot with the kids and just my phone camera. I used the Camera+ app so I could control my focus and exposure, but still keep it simpler than my DSLR. Then, I used the PicTapGo app to lightly edit them, conveniently while I was nursing the baby. And you know what? I love them. They may not be DSLR quality but these ten pictures...I love them.

I'm not saying I don't love my "real" camera shots, too. Because I do love them. But these days, simple, quick, and convenient win out over quality. And fun. I need to be having fun! Stressing about exposure and white balance is not fun. I don't feel that pressure with the phone camera. 

I'm also trying to remind myself that I don't need to upgrade to keep improving. I would love to upgrade my camera, computer, editing software, and lenses (not necessarily in that order), but it just isn't in the cards right now. I also don't have much time for continuing education at the moment, but I can still practice what I know and slowly, ever so slowly, learn new techniques.

Just in case you're the curious type, here's what I use:

Phone - iPhone 5

Camera - Canon EOS Rebel XS

Lenses - Canon 50mm f1.8, Canon 35mm f2.0

Computer - HP desktop that is nine years old. Ancient in computer years and frankly, it's surprising that it still works, but it does. Very, very slowly. 

Editing software - Photoshop Elements 6

My final thought? I'm totally buying white sheets for every bed in the house. 

number 501

I'm here. Busy, but here. Present. Living life and blogging about it.

I have missed blogging this week. I have taken longer breaks before, but almost always by choice. I don't like having things to say and not having the time to say them. And I know I have no one to blame but myself, but still...

This is my 501st post. It sort of feels like a big deal to me. That means I have written something or chosen a picture to share and clicked that "publish" button FIVE HUNDRED times. And in doing so, this little blog has become part of who I am.  Does that mean I'm a "real" blogger now?

A couple of years ago at a birthday party, it came up during introductions that I have a blog. The sweet lady I was being introduced to enthusiastically asked, "Oh! What kind of blog do you have?" I didn't really know how to answer and I think I just mumbled something like "Oh, just a blog about my life."

Clearly she thought I was a "blogger." I don't really see myself that way. I'm more of just another mom with a blog. Is there really a distinction?

Sometimes I forget why I blog.  It may not be clearly evident in the way I ramble on about whatever comes to mind, but I can actually be quite shy.  More than once I have had trouble clicking that publish button because I'm afraid of sharing something I've written.  Then, I remind myself that it's for my kids. It keeps me writing when I remember that. These are their stories as much as they are mine. And even when I write a big complaining post about not getting enough sleep or too much poop to deal with, it's still for them. Many times, when going through difficult times, I have asked my mom how she felt when she was in my position. But that was thirty years ago and she doesn't always remember. So, girls, when I'm complaining about you, that's for you thirty years from now when you're dealing with your own little treasures of sleepless nights and tantrums.

With that thought in mind, I will have to find a new balance in my life. One that includes picture taking and writing and yes, blogging. Because I want to keep this place alive at least a little bit longer.

i finally did it

For more than two years, I have toyed with the idea of opening an Etsy store. I finally did it. So, in a shameless act of self-promotion, I'm plugging my store today.

It is pretty bare at the moment, but I'm working hard at finishing up a few custom orders so I can get more Ready To Ship items loaded up. It's a little exciting and a little overwhelming at the same time.

Cute & cozy headbands - ready to ship

I'm surely not setting out to make a fortune on crochet. I'm hoping to cover the costs of my strange yarn addiction, and maybe earn a little extra to stash away for my photography obsession. At this point, I have no idea where I'm headed, but I'm sure time will tell.

Adult women's size newsboy - custom made in a variety of colors

Textured sherpa with earflaps - sizes newborn to adult - will be added soon

If you get a chance, check it out and let me know what you think. I still have quite a few things to add including kid size beanies, newborn hats, and a few more adult size options. And I already have ideas for spring and summer, including a farmer's market tote bag and cute, flowery headbands.

So, if you find yourself in need of something warm and cute to put on your head this winter, you know where to go.

Click here to visit my shop.

another 365

Gloomy day out the playroom window

january 9, 2013

I started another 365 photo project on January 1st. Last year's photos are organized neatly in a virtual folder on my desktop until I make time to create an album of them. I would love to get it done in a month or so, but we'll see. At the moment I'm spending my time doing other things like blogging and crocheting.

Last year, my intent was to take a picture of each girl every single day. I didn't want to end up with a book dominated by one child over the other, so I tried to my best to get a picture of each one each day. There were many days I failed and I made do with a picture of their shoes, or a "flashback" photo to Laci's babyhood, or I cheated and took an extra picture the next day. And on one sad occasion where I missed several days in a row, I grabbed a picture of my dogs. But I have a collection of 700-something pictures that I am anxious to see compiled into something I can hold and flip through whenever I want.

January 1, 2012 ~ 1/366

December 30, 2012 ~ 365/366
(I picked these instead of December 31st because I like them better).

Can you believe how much they've grown???

I'm probably setting too high of expectations (as usual), but I'm at it again with a few guidelines to help me through:

1. Find the light, then the moment. I will not force myself to try to create something pretty if the light just plain isn't there.

2. It doesn't HAVE to be a picture of my kids. Though I will say the thought of missing a day of my girls sort of makes me sad. They will likely dominate my collection at the end of the year anyway.

3. Just one picture. Obviously, I'll take many, but I'll force myself to choose just one at the end of the day. I'll thank myself at the end of the year for this one when I'm trying to design my book.

And that's it. 365 days, 365 photos. I'm not planning to blog my project because that's just one thing I don't want added to my plate at the moment, but I can assure you that most of them end up here anyway.

my birthday

Today is my 33rd birthday, and it has been a really good day.

I spent the morning with Ryan, shopping and eating lunch, while my mom watched the girls. We stopped at Home Depot for some things because, for us, no date is complete without a trip to Home Depot. I also scored some new lotion and bath towels, and I suppose that's all it really takes these days to make me feel pampered. After Ryan left for work, I spent the afternoon with my mom and babies just watching tv and playing. And my sisters joined us this evening for a dinner of chicken teriyaki bowls and egg rolls.

Last night, I had the brilliant idea of photographing my day, because that's the kind of weird thing I'd like to do on my birthday. I plugged in my camera battery to make sure it had a good charge. When I left the house this morning, I grabbed my camera, but not my battery. I did not take a single picture today. And so, I suppose it is appropriate that I am not including a picture with this post.

A post without a picture feels awkward for me. I always feel like at least you have something to look at if you aren't interested in reading my long-winded, self-indulgent musings that likely entertain only myself. Without pictures, my thoughts and words are just hanging out there, all exposed and vulnerable. Pictures are my armor. And yet, I feel the need to write. The proof will be if I actually click "publish" when I'm done purging my mind.

I feel like a birthday is a good reminder to reflect on where you've been and where you're going. I'm not afraid to say I'm in a pretty good place in life.

Almost my entire life, I have been working toward one goal or another. Goals have kept me looking forward, which is especially helpful when daily life feels repetitive and monotonous, or just plain hard. There was a period in my early twenties where I sort of wandered aimlessly through life. I think it's pretty typical of an early twenty-something and the details aren't really important. I can't say I'm especially proud of many of the things I did during this time, but I can't fully regret those decisions either, as it was those decisions that made me the person I am today. And despite how terrible many of those decisions were, they are part of how I got to where I am now, which I don't regret at all. As I approached 25, I regained some focus and remembered that I needed goals in my life. So, I went back to school to complete my accounting degree. I followed up with goals of getting married, becoming a CPA, buying a house, and having a family. Check, check, and check - goals accomplished. Except for the whole CPA thing which, as it turns out, wasn't something I really wanted after all.

So all this talk about goals brings me to today, where I once again find myself without a target on which to focus my efforts. Of course, I'm not the unattached 23 year old I once was. I am a mother and wife with an important role in other peoples' lives, so, I feel like my aimlessness is a bit less destructive than it was a decade ago. I have a family to take care of and there is importance in that. And yet, without a clear goal in mind, I still feel a bit lost. I feel like there is something more in life to achieve, but, a little like that 23 year old girl, I'm not sure what the next step should be.

If you were to ask me what this coming year will bring, I would not know what to answer. In many ways, I have everything I remember asking for, but that doesn't leave much to look forward to. And the thought of asking for more than I already have just seems selfish and greedy. I suppose what it all boils down to is taking some time to be truly content with all the gifts in my life. And from this contentment, will rise an opportunity to grow and become a better person, which is a pretty lofty goal, in fact.

With that final thought, I will go to bed and hope for a restful night. Happy birthday to me.