mia | one year

Dear Mia,

It has been one whole year that you've been alive, and what a year it has been. While the day of your birth was filled with confusion, sadness, and fear, it was also one of the happiest, best days of my life. After all, it was the day you came into our lives, and I'm so very, very glad you're here with us today.

You have a voracious appetite. You eat almost anything I put in front of you and you can, and do, out-eat your sister at every meal. Even with just two teeth, you manage to eat anything you can get your hands on, including stir fry with Kung Pao Sauce. But beyond your love of all things food-related, you have an appetite for life.

You are fearless when it comes to climbing things, and now that you can walk, you want to run. When we went to the beach last week, you weren't happy unless your feet were in the sand and waves. You wanted me to let you go, but the ocean would have swallowed you. You know what you want, and you aren't afraid to climb or throw a tantrum to get it. You like to carry things that are bigger and heavier than you are, and with much grunting and groaning, you have even managed to move furniture. You are busy, busy, busy. Just traveling from one mess to another all day long.

 

You love and admire your big sister, chasing her around the house and stealing her toys. You mimic her play and love to grab her hair.

I love your soft squishiness. You are getting toddler legs, but your arms and cheeks are made of marshmallow fluff. I love to kiss them and wish they would stay soft and squishy forever.

Your smile is infectious, it consumes your whole face, squishes up your eyes , and your cheeks swallow your nose. You gab all day long, no real words, but I'm pretty sure you think you are talking. You started shaking your head "No" this week. Obviously, I think it is super cute. Also, you can be really, really, really loud. Really loud.

You have amazing eyelashes and your hair is starting to curl. You still love your blanket. You bury your face in it when you are sleepy and you pull it over your head to play peek a boo. You love babies, especially your cousin Justin. You love dogs and cats, but are afraid of horses. I must do something about that. You light up when you see your daddy, but still want momma when you're tired.

I wish it were possible to remember everything about you at this age.  You are a special little girl, I can't imagine our family without you. I look forward to when you get bigger and I can tell you about your scars. I hope they will become reminders of how strong you are and help you through life.

We all love you so much. Yes, even Laci.

Much love,
Your Mommom

mia | eleven months

Dear Mia,

Yet another eventful month has passed. In the last week alone you cut your second tooth and went from just standing to walking across a room on your own. I knew once you let go that you would be unstoppable. You have not stopped practicing your walking all week and I think you are more proud of yourself than your daddy and I combined.

  

Just for the record, you have been sleeping worse than you ever have in your entire life. And I don't just mean for a night or two. I mean for weeks, maybe even months. Seriously, dear daughter, it is okay to sleep for eight, nine, ten hours in a row. I promise you will not miss anything and I will still be there when you wake up. No need to check in with me every couple of hours during the night. If you let me sleep, I promise I will be a much happier momma and maybe I will even give you cake.

Speaking of cake, you like it. And cookies and zucchini and bread and chicken and, well, pretty much everything I put in front of you. As long as you can feed yourself. You haven't been letting me feed you anything from a spoon lately. No, you want to operate the spoon yourself. And this is what happens when you operate the spoon yourself.

Oatmeal in every orifice, wrinkle, and roll. And this is nothing compared to what happened when you fed yourself yams the other day. For once, I did not take pictures of you eating.  You have no idea how many "eating" pictures I already have of you.  I can't help myself.  I love watching you eat.  And I love taking pictures of you eating.

You even tried to eat Cheerios with a fork. You were successful in getting them on the fork, not so successful getting them in your mouth.

Big sister has been warming up to you and even let you snuggle with her white blanket yesterday since we couldn't find yours. I almost fell out of my chair. Sister also likes to feed you, the problem is monitoring what she decides to put in your mouth.

You discovered coloring this week. I showed you how to make marks with a crayon and you are obsessed with getting your hands on anything that will write. You are also obsessed with eating the crayon box, but you've always had a thing for eating paper products. Don't worry, I pulled the slobbery wad of cardboard out of your mouth once I realized half the lid was missing.

You continue to jibber jabber regularly and can now say, "Dadadadada." And you say it a lot. When I ask you to say "Mama," you just smile and laugh at me. I'm not sure what that means. Am I just a joke to you? Or do you love me so much that just mentioning my name makes you burst with joy? I will believe the latter.

You still love to play peek a boo with your blanket over your head. You love Maverick, Laci, and baby dolls. You love to get your hands on Laci's toys, especially when she is napping and can't take them away from you. You give adorable, slobbery, open mouth kisses, mostly to me. I love them.

And you.

Happy eleven month birthday Mia.
Love, Momma

mia | ten months

Dear Mia,

It seems like I was just sitting here writing to you, but no, an entire month has passed. And what a month it has been.

You were sick for a while, and teething for even longer. Those two stubborn bottom teeth are set to pop through any day now. You have been standing on your own lately and you love to have everyone watch and applaud your accomplishment. And just yesterday, you took two steps on your own, though I'm not sure if you knew what you were doing. You were pretty focused on Bert and Ernie in your hands.

You have the longest eyelashes and you know how I love your eyes. I love how you smile with your whole face - cheeks, eyes, nose - they all scrunch up and anyone watching can't help but smile back.  You can clap and wave, you love to rub your blanket on your face, and you love to play peek-a-boo with your blanket over your head.

You are obsessed with following your big sister everywhere and manage to knock down her towers and mess up her toys on an hourly, sometimes continuous, basis. You will likely find it much easier to keep up with her once you master this walking thing. In the meantime, I love to hear your little hands slap the floor as you crawl as fast as you can after her.

You had a terrible tummy ache yesterday afternoon and the night before. I can't figure out what is causing them and haven't been very successful in fixing them. I try my best to comfort you, singing and walking and rocking and patting, but they seem to take an hour or so to pass no matter what I do. After that, you are as good as new. I hope it is a phase that you will grow out of, and soon.

You have shown quite a temper lately. If something isn't going your way or your sister takes a toy, you are very clear about your anger - arching back, screaming, throwing your body to the floor. Fortunately, this does not happen often and you are quick to regain your composure. And, really, most of the time, you are a very content, happy girl. A good traveler, a good shopper (as long as I remember the Cheerios), and an all around easy going baby.  And you are an eater. We cannot forget that. To date, the only thing you haven't liked is watermelon, but it wasn't a very good watermelon to begin with, so I don't blame you.

I read something the other day that I've been thinking about a lot lately. It was an essay by a mother talking about how she loves her children, not because they are beautiful or smart, but because they are hers. It has stuck in my mind a few weeks now. I do believe that you are beautiful and smart and active and healthy and basically (almost) perfect. But even if you weren't all those things, I would love you just the same. I love you most because you landed here in our lives, and you are ours, a little piece of your daddy and me, and that's more than enough reason to love you.

With so much love for you,
Your mommom

PS: I even love the back of your head.  I have about a hundred pictures of the back of your head just to prove it.

mia | nine months

Dear Mia,

Today you are nine months old.  I'm trying to type one-handed because you insist on being held right now so you can look out the window. Logically, I should wait until you are napping to try to do this, but there is no guarantee you will take a nap in the near future, so I'll just peck away.  You are so certain that you will miss something amazing while you are asleep, that getting you to nap has not been easy.  Neither has nursing been easy, since you are so easily distracted by any little sound or movement your big sister makes.

You are getting so big, and are one busy, busy, busy little girl.  It is a rare moment that you stop moving.  Your favorite activities lately are to cruise along the front of the couch and walk around the house holding some one's hands.  You now stand using only one hand to hold you up, and yesterday, you stood alone for a few seconds. You were so engrossed in the toy you were holding that I don't think you noticed you were standing alone, but your Auntie Kristina and I saw it, and it was awesome.

You love to eat, and you don't really like baby food anymore.  You ate french toast the other morning and loved it.  You also got your hands on sister's french fries the other day, but I had to take those away.  You were very, very angry and let us all know exactly how you felt.  In fact, you always let us know exactly how you feel.  When you are happy, you are very, very happy.  When you are mad, you are very, very loud.

 I would love for you to stay my little marshmallow baby for a little longer, but you are trying to be a big girl so fast.  I love that you wake up happy most mornings and play in your crib until I pick you up.  I love that you still don't have any teeth and have big, gummy smiles.  I love that your eyes are so blue and that your hair is getting longer, almost long enough for a clippy.  I love how you love baby dolls and real babies.  I love how you watch your older sister and want to play with whatever she is playing with.  I love how you have started making noises when you yawn (I'm a loud yawner, too).  I love that you pat things with your thumb instead of the palm of your hand.  I love that you give big, open mouth kisses, and that they mostly land on my nose.  I love so many things about you, it would probably take all day to list them.

But, most of all, I just love that you are here with us, and that you brighten each day with your sunny personality.

Love you,
Mommom

mia | eight months

Dear Mia,

Today you are eight months old.  This is you, this morning, right now.

Well, not RIGHT NOW, but just a few minutes ago.  You are surrounded by toys on the playroom floor, which is my feeble attempt at keeping you entertained while I try to write.  Your sister is watching cartoons in the other room, so you are enjoying ALL the toys, not just the ones she allows you to slobber on.

Of course, my feeble attempt at entertaining you has only been mildly successful.  I have already been out of my chair at least a dozen times to rescue you from disaster and to give you new toys.  At the moment, you have pulled yourself up on a chair and are patting the chair seat.  It must be great fun because you are smiling and "talking."  You pull yourself up on everything - literally everything - furniture, walls, toys, people.  Most of the items you choose to pull up on are wobbly and you fall.  You are also under the false impression that you can stand alone.  At this exact moment, you are holding onto the chair with only one hand, which is not uncommon lately.  You think it is great fun to let go of things while you are standing up.  But the problem is, you cannot actually stand.  This is how it really happens:

You pull up.

You let go.

You fall.

I imagine that, in your head, you are thinking, "I'm standing!"

But, really, I call it delayed falling.

Besides, I don't think eight month old babies should stand alone.  I know you are in a hurry to be able to play with your big sister, but there will be plenty of time for that in the future.  Just be content to sit and crawl for a little while longer.

There are many more things I could write about you, eight month old Mia, like how you love to eat, how you still don't have any teeth, how I love to snuggle you when you're fresh from the tub, and how you laugh whenever your sister cries.  Oh, and how your new favorite game is to drop things on the floor so I can pick them up.  But, you have just fallen for the upteenth time, and sister has joined us as Boss of the playroom, so I'm sure my attention is needed elsewhere.  And you are starting to whine, which probably means you are ready for your morning nap, or ready to eat, or ready to just talk to me.  I never really know what you want, but through the process of elimination, I can usually make you happy.

Love you baby girl!

Love,
Mommom

mia | seven months

The last month has been a big one for our little girl. She learned to sit up on her own, roll and scoot around any which way she pleases, and is trying her best to crawl forward. If only those silly little arms wouldn't get in the way. I watch her sometimes and think she's just crazy with every part of her body wiggling, trying her hardest to will her body forward, only to scoot a few more inches backward. This most often leads to getting stuck under furniture and effectively moving away from the very item she was trying to reach. And even though this is our second time around with a little one, I'm continually amazed at what persistent little learners babies are and, because of their almost constant practice, how quickly they learn new things.

It feels like time is passing so much quicker with Mia than it did with Laci. After an agonizingly slow first month, where it felt like time was standing still, the past six months have just flown. How is it possible she's over halfway to her first birthday?

She still doesn't have any teeth, still doesn't sleep more than four continuous hours at night, and is still just eating baby cereal. But I have a feeling all these things will change in the next month.

 

We will head down to Sacramento next week for a follow up with her surgeon and a chest x-ray. I'm sure our visit will confirm what we so clearly see of her everyday - that she is a nearly perfectly healthy baby. I'm hoping to stop by the UC Davis NICU to drop off some goodies and share Mia's pretty little face. The people who worked so hard to save her deserve to see how fat and healthy she is. I imagine that seeing healthy babies is one of the more rewarding parts of their very difficult jobs.

She also has an appointment with the pediatrician the following week, so we will get an official weigh in and length measurement, and sadly, another set of shots. We got sort of off-schedule with her shots because she had a cough and I canceled her last appointment, and then never rescheduled, and then life happened, so you know, we got behind. The awesome part is that our insurance has decided to start covering well baby check ups and vaccinations, so we don't have to go to the county public health clinic for shots. I have never vented here about going to public health because I didn't want to seem ungrateful for the services they provide (at a much more affordable price than the doctor's office), but I am so glad we don't have to go back there anymore.

Seven things I love about my baby:

1. Her blue eyes.

2. Her squishy cheeks, legs, arms, neck, body.

3. The way her eyes squish shut and her nose wrinkles when she smiles.

4. How she laughs deep in her belly when I tickle her.

5. How she loves to touch everything - my nose, Laci's ponytails, the toys up on the shelf.

6. How she likes to play quietly in her bed when she wakes up in the morning.

7. That she reminds me daily to appreciate life, even without knowing it. Even though, most of the time I feel like I'm barely hanging on, barely doing my job as a mother, not loving my children enough, there is always at least a single moment where I snuggle her little body or look in her eyes and feel so very happy and thankful for everything.