tiny baby

She has a small baby doll she loves to carry around (naked and everywhere). She calls it "tiny baby," in her tiny voice with her eyes squinted almost shut. In Mia's world, things are either "BIG!" or "tiny." For now, Mia is my own tiny baby.

She had a major meltdown in the clothing store yesterday. She wanted to carry a white shirt around. I made her put it back. She melted to the ground in a puddle of screaming, kicking, writhing, and tears. I sort of laughed at her, peeled her from the ground, tried unsuccessfully to distract her with other things. Do you know how hard it is to carry a two year old having a tantrum? I can't remember what snapped her out of it, but she did snap out, and I was able to finish shopping. Which was good because I had barely started. My mom was with me. She had a smirk on her face. It reminded her of shopping with my sister, Kristina, except we didn't have to leave the store as she often did when Kristina was that age. And to think, Kristina has grown into an excellent shopper.

She has been my baby for two years. I have a few months left to enjoy her being my littlest. I smell her hair after her bath and pretend she is still small on my lap. She has such soft skin, and the tiniest little hands with dimples for knuckles.  I love her wild curls and her beautiful blue eyes. I want to freeze her just like she is for maybe a little longer. 

She's pretty independent but enjoys snuggling more often lately. I love it. As I sat at the computer a couple days ago, she was tired and, bringing her blanket and bottle of milk, said, "momma nuggle." And I stopped what I was doing to sit with her because you just can't turn that down, it doesn't happen nearly often enough.

She says "baby brudder" in the cutest voice, though she really has no clue about the changes that will happen when he arrives. There's nothing like bringing a tiny, new baby home to make your other kids look like giants. I know she will instantly age in my eyes and I'll miss her being the baby. And yet, I am excited to see her discover the world of being the big sister. I predict hearing "meself" a lot in reference to feeding him, washing him, changing him. It will be a challenging adjustment for us all. Right now, the hardest part feels like it will be saying good bye to my tiny baby girl.