boo hoo

This is how I feel about not having time to write.

Life suddenly feels crazy busy. I haven't even started wrapping presents and just found out an hour ago that I need to go back to the grocery store with all the other last minute crazy shoppers.

I'll see you after Christmas.

Happy holidays!

The end.

a little update on the house

I hesitate to write posts like this sometimes because I don't want to be all, "Hey, look at my awesome house." Especially with how many people are struggling these days with just basic things like feeding their families and having a warm coat for Winter. But, basically, I am saying "Hey, look at my awesome house" because there isn't any other way to say it. Just know that I'm deeply grateful for all we have been able to accomplish, that we've had to work hard to get what we have, and that nothing is taken for granted.

The sheet rock is up and ready for tape and texture, which was started Monday.  Measurements were taken for cabinets yesterday morning. Lathers arrived bright and early yesterday to start the scratch coat on the outside. We hope to be in by the end of January, but only time will tell. Delays seems to be frequent and unforeseen, yet unavoidable, in the construction world.

I haven't taken a lot of pictures lately because so much of the finished product is still up in our heads. Unless you live in my brain, you might have trouble seeing what I see when I look at boring pictures of sheet rock. So, allow me a moment to provide a small virtual visual tour of the better parts of the house.

Our tubs. One for grown ups and one for babies.  We have a shower too...a pretty amazing one...one that is currently a dark cave not worth photographing.

Our back porch. I see concrete, a BBQ, a table or two, and lots of chairs for all the friends we'll be hosting. I might even see you there.

Our kitchen. I see bright white cabinets, dark countertops, and the most awesome stove that I can't wait to use. Also, plenty of room for friends to keep me company while I cook, because no one likes a lonely kitchen, least of all, me.

Our front room. I see a warm fire blazing, a good movie on the tv, and a comfy couch to sink into. I'll even be content with a pile of pillows and blankets if we have to wait on the sofa. Oh, and kids sprawled everywhere on real carpet. I see twinkle lights at Christmas and a back door breeze in June.

Obviously there is more to the house than this, but if you've seen one empty bedroom, you've seen them all. I'm patiently waiting for the finish work to begin...paint, trim, doors, flooring. Then I'm ready to move in. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm ready to move in yesterday...trim or not.

One more thing, here are my babies.  A post just isn't the same without their pretty little faces.

sundays are for relaxing

I have not dumped my phone in a while, so here is a random smattering of pictures from the past week. Or two. Or more.

The girls and I have not been doing much the past week, mostly just hanging out and counting the days until Christmas. I'm secretly hoping the rest of my shopping will get done without any effort on my part.

It seems Laci and Mia are going through a very needy phase, so I've spent much of my time in the brown rocking chair holding one, or the other, or both. This leaves little time for anything else, and I'm doing my best to be content with just sitting and rocking and providing comfort (which I'm doing at this exact moment in fact). Sometimes I get restless in my role as a mother.  Not because I don't have anything to do (because obviously I have PLENTY to do), but because I feel trapped. I'm working on accepting that "just being a mom" is enough.

I've been hearing some requests for a house update. I'm working on it. And by "working on it" I mean I've taken some pictures that aren't on the computer yet, which I may (or may not) upload later today. So, until I can get it together, a verbal update will have to suffice. Sheetrock is up, tape and texture starts Monday, the cabinet maker will measure tomorrow, and Ryan hooked up the water line yesterday. Pictures to come. Soon. Maybe. You'd think I know better than to make public promises.

I believe Sundays are made for relaxing and spending time with family. For doing things that renew your spirit, make you feel rested, and prepare you for the harsh world that greets you Monday morning. Whatever those things may be for you, I hope you enjoy them. Happy Sunday. 

laci & cookies

I have not been as patient as I'd like to be with my big girl lately. I try each day to be the mother she needs me to be, but some days she just knows how to push me. Our personalities are very similar, which I'm sure does nothing to help the situation. Plus, she's two, and testing her boundaries, and strong willed, and maybe a little threatened by all the time her new little sister consumes.

  

So, today, we made cookies together while Mia napped. It was only twenty minutes or so, and Laci spent more time painting the lemons with peanut butter and sticking her finger in the sugar than she did learning how to crack an egg, but I didn't expect anything different. She got a little one-on-one time with me, got to sit on the counter and get sticky, and we both got yummy cookies out of the deal. Though I love Mia with all my heart, I sometimes miss the time Laci and I used to spend together.

Laci is quite a character if you can't tell. Most nights, I can count on a visit from her around 1:00 am. Sometimes I hear her little feet pattering across the trailer floor and I'm able to redirect her back to bed before she is too awake. Other nights, I'm awakened by a tap on the arm and a "Mama?" A few nights ago, she arrived at my bedside with a large purple bouncy ball. "Laci, what are you doing?" I asked. "Mama, play ball?" she asked in return. Then I had to break the news that we don't play ball inside the trailer in the middle of the night. She didn't take the news too well.

The best, though, was about a week ago. I thought I heard her little feet out of bed, but was so tired I didn't get up right away. I figured I'd lay there for a few minutes and get my bearings before jumping out of bed. Except she never arrived. Then I wondered if I was imagining things. I sat up and saw my bathrobe (which was hanging in the hallway) "dancing" in the dark as if possessed by a ghost. Then I heard her singing, her sweet little two year old voice humming and singing a song only she could recognize. She had wrapped the robe (still hanging) completely around herself and was apparently having a private party of sorts. I asked my usual question, "Laci, what are you doing?" and she peeked out from under the robe and said, "Hi mama!" as if this were a completely normal thing to do in the middle of the night.

The past few months have been rough on this little girl, though most of the time she just rolls with it. She had only spent the night away from us twice before Mia was born, then both Ryan and I were nearly completely gone from her life for several weeks. When we came back home, we brought her a new little sister who she isn't exactly thrilled about. I hear "Mia down" many times a day. And unfortunately, even though I explain it to her daily, I'm not sure she understands that Ryan is so busy because he is building a house for us to live in.  I tell her that daddy has to work and she cries, "Me work too."  She misses him.  A lot.

As we ate pancakes for dinner (again) a couple of nights ago, she assumed her position on the floor at her makeshift table.  With all four of us squished and eating together, I knew she was blissfully unaware that not all families live like we do. I knew that she was content, happy to have her daddy on the floor next to her, and happy to have her mama make pancakes, even if I was also holding Mia. She will not remember this past Summer in the details I will. I know her memories will form in the setting of our new home.  I know she will learn to share with her sister and she (like me) will not remember life before having a sister.
She deserves more patience than I can provide. I hope she knows how much I love her and how I want to give her the world even when I tell her "No!" 547 times a day. I hope she knows she is just as special as her little sister, even without scars. Someday, I hope she'll read this and wonder why I was so worried about not being patient with her because all she can remember is baking cookies, tasting sugar, and having fun with her mama.

life

Life has a way of getting "busy" without anything substantial happening. Just the day to day routine keeps us hopping, and now we are only 20 days from Christmas and I'm wondering why December is already disappearing when it's just begun. Does this make sense? Maybe only to me.

The past few days, I've been busy helping my mom sew some aprons. What does a two year old do while the grown ups are sewing? Whatever she wants. Even if that "whatever" involves pouring water into candles and making a semi-big mess all over the table.

Ryan has been busy on the home-front as well, tying up loose ends, coordinating subcontractors, and meeting with inspectors. We are ready for stucco on the outside, just need to wait for the drywall, which should be done this week.

Check it out, we have insulation! This is BIG.  We've been rounding up appliances and looking at flooring options and it's all very overwhelming. Especially, when all I can focus on is getting to the finish line as soon as possible.

A few people have asked me if living in our trailer is like camping. No, it is, in fact, decidedly UN*like camping in every respect. I enjoy camping for the fresh air, relaxation, and a good excuse for having dirt on my face. None of these apply to our current situation, in case you're wondering.

Life as we know it resembles nothing I ever imagined. The girls handle it all pretty well, although I think Laci is finally tired of going to grammy's house everyday. Ryan works a lot, and we aren't together as much as I'd like. We are all tired, stressed, and ready for life to settle down. Which I hope happens soon.


Reading on Thanksgiving morning...
the only day I can think of recently where we spent the WHOLE day together as a family.
It was wonderful.


Oh, and my hair is falling out. Which isn't a surprise considering the whole "I had a baby a few months ago" thing. I'm fairly certain it has everything to do with hormones and nothing to do with the fact that my body, brain, and emotions are on overload, but I figured I would just tack that on the end there for FUN. Because saying, "My hair is falling out," sort of just seals the deal on the "I'm really going crazy now" theory I've had for a while.

And I think that about sums up life for the past few days. Tell me, are we having fun yet?