saturday morning thoughts

It has recently come to my attention that I might be losing my mind. Not in a loony bin straight jacket kind of way, but definitely in a lose your sunglasses on the top of your head or can't find the phone I'm holding in my hand kind of way.

I made coffee this morning. Just like always. Filled the coffee maker with water, put in the filter, scooped in some coffee grounds, closed it up, pushed the brew button. I walked away. A few minutes later...coffee is everywhere, but not in the coffee pot. Because I didn't put the pot back to catch the coffee. I salvaged a cupful. I am making another pot right now. I have confirmed the coffee pot is properly positioned beneath the dispenser. I am thinking I need an extra cup this morning.

It has also come to my attention that I am clearly no longer a passenger on the fashion train, that is, if I was ever a passenger to begin with. I'll admit that I've never been a very trendy or fashionable girl, jeans and a shirt seem to work fine in most situations I find myself in. Add a pair of heels and I'm set for a night out. But lately...well, I'm not really sure what has happened. I have reduced my "fashion" choices to what is comfortable and what is clean. I have sacrificed color matching, figure flattering, and pretty, for colors that hide spit up and whatever is on top of the laundry pile because it will save me from having to put my clothes away. And also, a brown pair of shoes that I wear with everything even though, clearly, they do not actually go with everything. The saddest part of this realization is that I'm pretty sure I fell off the fashion train years ago and I'm only just now noticing because it has taken another turn and is now running me over. Again, this is only if I was ever on the train to begin with, and by looking at my high school pictures, it might be safe to say that I was never a passenger in the first place. Then again, "fashion" in the nineties wasn't kind to anyone.

My two sweet girls are undoubtedly the cause of my demise. I don't think they do it intentionally, but I definitely remembered how to make coffee before they kept me up for several nights in a row. They have recently worked out a system where one wakes up just as I'm getting the other one to sleep. My only saving grace is that the heater in our trailer is really loud and creates the perfect white noise to put Mia back to sleep. I am positive the heater is the sole reason she usually sleeps so well, and it might be the only thing I will miss about living in the trailer. Well, that, and the fact that I don't have much housekeeping to do.

But these girls, I tell you, they are so entertaining. All you ever hear is "terrible two's," but Laci is just so much fun to watch. Sure she has her meltdowns, doesn't like to be told "no," and can think of every excuse in the book to not go to bed, but to see her change so much everyday is pretty awesome. She can count to ten, knows her colors, and she picks up new words all the time, reminding me that I really have to watch what I say. She plays pretend and loves to dance, although her "moves" are random and uncoordinated. She must get that from her dad.

And Mia just loves to watch her big sister. I am sure she will be heartbroken someday when big sister won't let her play, but that is just part of the sister dynamics. She hasn't been herself the past couple of days - lots of drooling, nursing constantly, not sleeping her usual eight hours - but she's still smiley and happy as long as I'm holding her. I'm sure it will pass, whatever it is.

Most of the time I still hear "Mia down" or "Daddy hold Mia" from my big girl, but I get glimpses now and of what it will be like when they can play together. Good thing Mia was securely strapped in for swing time.

So, I suppose it doesn't really matter that I'm dressed like a hobo, and not in a chic kind of way, or that I can't remember...well...anything. Because who really has time for things like hair and clothes when there is important coloring to do, and 15 diapers a day, and nights of crying baby tag teams? Maybe I'll be fashionable when I'm sixty. I'll be the cool, classy grandma and my grandchildren will call me G-ma or Grand-mummy and we'll drink tea with fancy clothes. And now, I think I've proven the point that I'm losing it, so I'll just stop now.

Enjoy your weekend!