mia | three months

11 lbs 10 oz

22 inches

of chunky sweet goodness

At three months old, she doesn't have that newborn look anymore. I guess that's what healthy babies do, grow and grow and change and change.

Sweet baby girl is losing her hair, her eyes are still blue, and she still hasn't experienced true baby giggles, but she's close. At her recent checkup, the doctor suggested moving her bed to another room if we thought that might help her sleep better. I just nodded my head, laughing internally, because what room would we move her to? Remember, our travel trailer abode. She currently sleeps in the "living/dining" area. The only other "room" available is the kitchen, which is approximately four feet from where she currently sleeps. Pretty sure that won't make much difference. Thankfully, she sleeps really well despite our living arrangements, so moving her isn't an issue. And I didn't feel like explaining our situation, so I just soaked it in, all the while imagining the pack n' play on the roof of the trailer.

The question everyone seems to be asking lately is, "Is she going to be okay now?" I have two answers.

My first answer is, Yes. She breathes well, digests well, and clearly eats well. She is as healthy and happy as any other three month old.

My second answer is, I Don't Know. There are a million possible ways things could go wrong. What if she gets a cold or the flu this winter and her lungs can't handle it? What if her intestines twist and cause a blockage? What if her hernia ruptures and she needs surgery again? And the "what if's" multiply as she gets older. What if she can't keep up with the other kids? What if she gets appendicitis and they can't find her appendix? What if her hernia ruptures as she grows? What if she wants to have children, but has problems carrying a baby? What if her baby is born with a diaphragmatic hernia?

None of these scenarios is very likely. They are mostly the product of a mother's worry. But the possibility is still there and even as she gets visibly healthier each day, I don't think the fear of her getting sick again will ever fully leave me. The reality is, that bad things can happen to your children at any time. Nobody's health is guaranteed - not Mia's, not Laci's, not mine. So, sometimes I feel like my worries about Mia are ridiculous, but that doesn't keep them from taking up space in my mind.  I hope that someday, these things will not bother me.

For today, though, Mia is as healthy as can be, and for the most part, a very happy little girl. We are so lucky to have her with us. We love you, sweet Mia.