phone photo dump and an unrelated story



~ the road home ~


The girls and I watched part of the downtown Veteran's Day parade on Friday. With a fresh pumpkin chocolate chip muffin and cup of milk from the coffee shop, Laci saw old cars, veterans, and horses (her favorite) pass by. Mia slept in the Moby wrap as I muffled the sirens for her with my hand. It was an unintentional outing, the result of ending up in the right place at the right time, purely by accident. An hour after we arrived, the parade was over and Mia was ready to eat again, so we moved on. Laci didn't want to get out of the stroller, but I convinced her that french fries were a good enough reason to go. She wasn't entirely convinced, but I have a bit of an advantage in the sense that I can just physically remove her from the stroller and strap her in the carseat whether she wants to or not. As I drove along, I realized everyone in the backseat was quiet, and I felt somewhat victorious.

I get overwhelmed easily...too easily. I have made only one solo trip with the girls: to the grocery store for some basic necessities. I would never have considered packing them up and taking them to a parade by myself. But I did it, even if by accident.  Sure, it was only about an hour, but it felt like I accomplished something. And the thought of doing it again doesn't seem so terrible.

It was a good day for me. Even though I'm sure Laci won't remember it, and I didn't take a single picture, I will remember that she was most excited to see the horses and kept asking, "more horses?" I will remember that Mia was a little fussy and hungry but didn't have a complete meltdown before I could get somewhere to feed her. I will remember that the door to the coffee shop does not easily accommodate a stroller being pushed with one hand by a mama with a baby in a front pack, but that the lady serving us was friendly, and asked if we would be visiting any of the museums in town.  "No, not today," I replied.  And I will remember that going places and doing things with my girls is worth all the "hassle" I think it involves.

Mia won't always want to nurse constantly, and Laci won't always be so easily entertained by riding around in a stroller. I imagine, 20 years from now, I'll look back on all these things that currently overwhelm me and I'll wish for them back. I'll miss having to pack a giant bag of diapers and wipes and snacks and spare clothes. I'll wish I had little ones in my backseat asking for toys and dropping pacifiers. So, here's to pushing the anxiety aside and just packing up and going more often.