Tuesday, November 29, 2011

mia | four months



She's sleeping on my chest as I type this on my phone. I'm hoping her milky smell and baby breaths will inspire me to write words that are as amazing as she is. I've been having trouble with words lately, they just aren't there, but since I don't have a baby book for her, I owe this to her.

She rolled over last week, tummy to back. Just once, and there hasn't been a repeat, but she smiled so big when she did it. She smiles big all the time. So big that her cheeks push her eyes shut and all you see are toothless gums. She wakes each morning, and from most naps, just full of smiles. Her laugh is soft and sweet, and she's a big talker. Happy or sad, she'll "tell" you all about it.


She clearly isn't a newborn anymore, officially looking like a baby, and quickly on her way to sitting up. I forgot how quickly they outgrow that sleepy newborn stage. She watches big sister play all the time and I imagine she is thinking, "Wow, I wish I could do that." Soon, baby girl, soon you will.


And those blue eyes. I am so in love with them. I see so much love in them when she looks at me. A baby's love is honest and simple and forgiving. I'm sure, at times, I am not deserving of her devotion.

She really is an amazing little thing. Those who meet her, who don't know about her birth, have no idea she has ever been anything but a healthy, perfect little girl. Except for a few faint scars, there is nothing to indicate otherwise. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm needlessly dwelling on the past by repeatedly bringing up her birth defect, but when I let my mind wander back to the first few weeks of her life, my heart still stings a little. I can talk about medical details with anyone interested and willing to listen without batting an eye, but the emotional side of our experience is a different story. I save that part for when I'm alone. That's how I know my dwelling isn't "needless." I haven't gone back to read any of those August posts yet because it still hurts, yes, even with a healthy baby peacefully in my arms.


On the upside, as each month passes, my fears of her becoming sick again fade a little more. I have no problems looking forward to the milestones she will be reaching, to her first birthday, to her going to school someday, and to growing up. She is a special little baby and I can't help but think that this whole experience happened to make us better people, to make better parents of Ryan and myself, and to help us make a difference in this world, even if that difference is very small.

You are very special baby girl. I will make sure you know that and you never forget it.
Happy four month birthday, sweet Mia.
Love, Your Mama



****

In the US alone, 1600 babies are born with congenital diaphragmatic hernia (CDH) each year. Only 50% of these babies survive. We are blessed to be of the surviving half, but because my baby lived, I know there is another family whose baby is gone. Very little is known about this defect. It is as common as spina bifida and cystic fibrosis, yet its cause is unknown. It isn't uncommon to go undiagnosed, as it was in Mia's case. In fact, only 75% of babies are diagnosed in utero. If we had known of Mia's birth defect beforehand, she would have been born at UC Davis where the medical attention she needed would have been immediately available. It is because of these saddening facts that CHERUBS, the official charitable organization for CDH, is circulating a petition to increase federal funding of CDH research.

If you have a few minutes, please sign this petition. More detailed information about what this petition is asking for is available at the link below. I know that in comparison to other things, like cancer, that CDH affects relatively few families and it may not seem so important. But to those 1600 families a year whose babies are born with this terrible defect, families like ours, the infrequency of its occurrence does not diminish its importance.

To sign the petition, click here.



I thank you, Mia thanks you, cherubs everywhere thank you,
because babies shouldn't have to fight so hard just to breathe.

7 comments:

  1. Happy four months, Mia! I needed to read this today. I needed a reminder of what is really important in life. Your baby girl is precious and I'm so thankful she is doing so well. I still keep your family in my prayers.
    Love, Sarah

    P.S. Petition signed!

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  2. Amazing child and amazing family, thanks again for your eloquence. Love Scott

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  3. Happy Birthday Mia!! You are our precious little gift and we are so blessed to have you in our lives! We love you & big sister Laci, well your parents too. :) Looking forward to more playdates and fun!!! Love~ The Martine Family

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  4. Signed Number 1967 :) So touched by this little Angel we love you all dearly The Dwyer Family

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  5. Beautiful pics and you so have not lost your words - you write very meaningful posts that are so genuine that you should print them up in a book for your girls!!

    *STAMPIN HUGS* Alex

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  6. She is just the most precious baby girl! How sweet, how beautiful! You are truly blessed!Love and hugs to all, Michelle

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  7. Wow Tonya, Mia is just BEAUTIFUL!!!! What a touching post!

    I also wanted to tell you THANK YOU for stopping by my blog and leaving your sweet compliments, I know this is WAY OVERDUE, but I have not forgotten your kind words!!!

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