36 weeks

First things first:

1. 36 weeks today. 

2. Yes, that belly feels as big as it looks. 

3. The art of the "selfie" is something that defies me. It took something like fifty shots to get just one I was comfortable posting. And in full disclosure, I don't really like this one either. Any "selfie" experts out there are welcome to share their advice. 

I have been terrible about documenting this pregnancy. I was so happy when I saw those pink lines on the test, and since I know this is likely the last time I'll be able to do this, I really wanted to do a good job of remembering it all. The good, the bad, the uncomfortable, maybe even the gross. I even found a blank journal to dedicate to this purpose. And you know what? That journal is still blank. Yep, I haven't written a single thing. I'm not sure exactly how this happened, but here is my theory. 

I found out I was pregnant and almost immediately didn't feel good. I spent about a month feeling gross and absolutely exhausted. Like I literally couldn't sleep enough. It only lasted maybe a month, but then we all got colds and felt cruddy. Then the girls got another cold. Then we all had the stomach flu. Then another cold just to make sure we got our fair share of germs for the year. Seriously, it felt like we were sick all spring. Then summer happened and Ryan was working a lot, and it never even crossed my mind to write, except once in a great while when I couldn't think of anything to write. And so it goes until now, today, right now. 

I've been terrible about pictures too. I'm sort of regretting not hiring a real photographer to take some shots, maybe even a few family shots. I didn't think it was my "thing" to have a maternity shoot, but now that it's almost over, I wish I could go back. Professional family pictures will definitely be worked into the budget next year. 

So, I am 36 weeks today (thank you pregnancy app for helping me do the math) and I figured if I don't write something now, then I probably never will. If you remember, Mia was born at 36 1/2 weeks, but let's hope baby boy waits a bit longer than that. 

I love being pregnant. If I had gotten an earlier start at this parenthood thing, I'd be willing to add a few more. That being said, there are quite a few things about being pregnant I could do without. All the gross parts to start with, but also I could do without these last few weeks where I'm just uncomfortable most of the time and pee all the time and can't sleep and have cankles. I really shouldn't complain because it's been a pretty easy pregnancy (all three have been, really), but my hips hurt all the time and I'm ready for that to be over with.  I know I can handle a few more weeks of this. Longer if necessary, because even after having done this twice before, the thought of labor and delivery is really just frightening right now. I mean, I know I can do it, I'm just not looking forward to it. 

And it can't happen yet because Mr. Stubborn Boy is still breech. My doctor doesn't seem too concerned yet, we'll discuss it more if he still hasn't turned by my next appointment (Wednesday). Me, on the other hand, is a lot concerned and I've read all kinds of ridiculous things you can do to try to turn the baby. Anyone have a Moxi stick they can burn by my baby toe?  I kid, I kid. But I think about it everyday and would feel very much relieved if he would turn his giant self around. It seems the more times I do this, the more things I think of going wrong. I worry about stuff that didn't even cross my mind with Laci. 

Yes, he feels giant. Has felt more giant than my girls this whole time. And he makes himself quite comfortable, kicking and punching my bones and guts more than I would like. Laci has felt him move quite a bit since he likes to kick and push against her when she sits on my lap. It's quite amusing. She will wiggle and say, "Baby brother is kicking me." Sibling competition already and he isn't even born get. I love it. Mia thinks she feels him, but mostly she likes to lift up my shirt saying, "Open up!" Then she pats and pushes and climbs all over me laughing. It has been fun to share this whole experience with them. 

Then there's the whole "healthy baby" thing. I've already had two very healthy pregnancies but only one of those babies came out healthy. I have another ultrasound scheduled Tuesday for one last look at baby boy before he's born, so if something is wrong, we would likely know. But still, until you hear them cry and watch them breathe and turn pink (which Mia never did), there's just a little fear there. Of course, we welcome any baby, healthy or not, but we could use a little easier experience this time. 

Well, I think that about covers what's on my mind these days. Except of course for wondering who he will look like, how it will be a whole new experience to have a baby boy, and if he will be a sleeper (please). I can't wait to have someone around who can't run away when I want to take his picture. Now, we just wait until he decides it's time to show up.