celebrating love

A little piece of business first. If you have recently visited my blog and received a warning about malware and problems because I have content from I Should Be Folding Laundry, let it be known that my site has not been infected. Even better, Beth has been able to resolve the issues with her site, so this should no longer be an issue, and you shouldn't be seeing a warning anymore. Please don't stop visiting me, even if you are a silent lurker. I promise I will not infect your computer.


Now, onto more important matters.

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It's Valentine's Day! Yay! Or not yay, depending on who you are. It appears from reading my Facebook feed that there are a wide range of opinions about this holiday. Frankly, I'm not sure how one silly, made up holiday can cause so much controversy. No one says you have to like it, but is the negativity necessary? There are enough things in the world to be unhappy about, why add something this trivial to the list?  If you don't like Valentine's Day, then just call today Tuesday and be happy about it. Tuesdays are pretty good just by themselves anyway, far better than Monday at least.  Now I know Facebook is one of those places people like to vent, and rightly so, and most of the time I combat the rampant negativity by, well, ignoring it. But sometimes, I have these thoughts and ideas and for some unknown reason, feel driven to get them out of me. This is one of those occasions. 

What spoke to me most this morning was a post from my wise friend Brittney, who is teaching her children that Valentine's Day isn't just about lovers. It is about celebrating love unconditionally. I agree. It is a day to celebrate all the people in your life that you love, significant other or not, and to love them unconditionally.

I am sure no one reading this lives without love in their life. Certainly, there are people out there who are not loved, by anyone, just watch daytime talk shows showcasing the atrocities of abused and neglected children. But, if you are reading my words here, I doubt you are one of them. So, while some may call Valentines Day "Singles awareness day," I choose to see it as an opportunity to celebrate all the love I give and receive - with my children, parents, siblings, grandparents, and all my extended family and friends. Surely, there is someone in your life that you love.

As for the commercial side of the holiday, I stand firm on the principle of "to each his own." I have received gifts of flowers and diamonds in the past (who could complain about that?), but over the past few years, Ryan and I have only occasionally exchanged cards or small gifts, or sometimes nothing at all. Gifts or not, we always say, "I love you."

We do our best to show our love for each other each and every day, as we should. But we are human, and some days are hard. Some days, we don't to show our love so well because we are tired and stressed, or because the kids consume every last ounce of energy in our bodies, or because someone was cranky and sarcastic instead of patient and understanding (usually me). And that's okay, because we have the next day to make up for it and because it is entirely impossible to be super loving all the time. It is nice that we have days like Valentine's and anniversaries and birthdays to remind us to try a little harder, to help us remember that relationships take effort and energy.  And I don't try harder just because some greeting card company or calendar says, "Today, you need to do this," but because it is something I wanted to do anyway.

There were plenty of Valentine's Days (mostly while I was in school) where I secretly hoped for a Valentine, someone to be mine, but more often than not, there was no one. When you're at an age, or stage in your life, where you aren't where you want to be, holidays like this tend to magnify your insecurities and your feelings of exclusion, because you are focused on what you aren't receiving. Change your perspective, choose happiness over negativity. If the greatest gift is giving to others, this should be easy. Give someone a Valentine, tell someone you love them and that they are important to you, smile at someone today. It certainly can't make you feel any worse.

Maybe it is easy for me to say these things because I have so many people in my life to love and to be loved by. I hope I would be saying these same things even if I didn't have Ryan in my life, though there is no way to ever know for sure. Regardless, today, I am choosing to celebrate love the only way I know how. By making cookies and cards for the people I care about and by saying those simple, yet powerful words, "I love you."

If you are still anti-Valentine's Day, that's more than okay with me. It was never my intention to sway your opinions. I still love you, especially after you've spent the last few minutes reading my words.

Happy Valentine's Day, or Happy Tuesday, to you. Wherever you are, whoever you are, I hope it is a good day.