It's Not All Sunshine and Roses: The Truth Behind the Blog

I love my life, but it is far from perfect.  I would never want it to be "perfect" even if there was such a thing.  The thing is, if you didn't know me and you read this blog, you might think that I think my life is perfect.  You might think that I never argue with my husband or worry about finances.  Based on this blog, I must spend my days filled with sunshine, playing silly games with the baby, and taking pictures to capture all my bliss.  Wouldn't that be nice?  The truth is, I do argue with my husband, I do worry about money, and I have so many faults I can't keep track.  I spend too much time on Facebook, I'm terrible at keeping in touch with friends, and I'm the worst procrastinator.  I like to focus my stories on those happy times for two reasons.  One, I want to remember them.  When I'm tired and cranky, it is easy for me to forget the simple things that bring me at least a little joy everyday.  Two, I have been trying really hard to be a more positive person - a glass is half full kind of girl.  I have found that the more I focus on the positive, the more things I find to be positive about.  I find it easier to let the little things go...like today, for example.

Today started like any other day.  I began my run in the hamster wheel around 6:45 this morning.  Feed baby, change baby, play with baby, feed baby again, put baby to sleep...lather, rinse, repeat.  I thought I would try to be ambitious today.  Not all days are ambitious.  Some days are meant for being lazy in pajamas all day.  Today was not going to be (another) one of those days.

I start with putting on makeup, mostly so I don't scare the UPS man if we get a package today.  Success!  Laci thinks putting on makeup is very entertaining.  This is when I realize that our bathroom sink is about the most disgusting sink you've ever seen.  I'm talking public restroom disgusting, except maybe worse because Ryan shaved the night before and there are little hairs everywhere.  If I were to drop my toothbrush in the sink at this point, I might consider just getting a new toothbrush.  I get out the cleaning supplies and clean off the counter which is littered with various bottles, potions, and lotions.  Just as I squirt a big glob of cleaner in the bottom of the sink, Laci has decided it must be time for playing, or eating, or her latest thing, which involves playing and eating at the same time (makes for much longer eating times).  After playing, eating, burping, pooping, changing, and more playing, we are ready to attack the bathroom again.  I am in the middle of scrubbing the faucet with a toothbrush (no I don't usually use a toothbrush, but like I said, it was really disgusting), and Laci decides it must be time for sleep.  I finish cleaning anyway so that by the time I have dried off the counter and returned all the bathroom paraphernalia to its proper location, I have a screaming mad baby who just doesn't understand why I didn't pick her up immediately.  Once I pick her up, she promptly falls asleep and takes an hour long nap...as if she was the one who needed a nap.

After all this ambitious cleaning, I decide I have accomplished enough for one day.  I take pride in my little successes because only a couple of months ago, I was convinced I would never be able to set the baby down long enough to clean anything again, EVER.  I plan to spend the rest of my brief baby-free moments browsing the Internet for items I don't need but really want.  That is, until, I open our cupboard.  Ryan has decided to store the butter dish in the cabinet on top of the plates.  At first I thought,"What a great idea."  We have a problem with the cats licking the butter when we leave it on the counter, and I have a problem with cold hard butter from the fridge...it just doesn't spread.  Apparently, the mice thought it was a great idea too because there are fecal remnants of our mice friends all over the cabinet, plates, and bowls.  I am totally grossed out and drag Ryan into the kitchen with me to examine the cupboard.  Yes, he confirms, mouse poop.  When we first moved here we put out all kinds of mouse traps, caught a couple, and haven't had a problem since.  Plus, with three cats around here, why worry about mice?  I don't know what it is about mouse poop that is so disgusting.  I mean, other than the fact that it is poop, it really isn't that bad.  It is small, firm, and doesn't really smell.  I deal with grosser things numerous times a day in Laci's diapers.  BUT, the fact is, mouse poop is grosser than anything Laci could ever produce and now my cabinet is covered in it.  What do I do?  I start pulling everything out of the cupboard.  I mean EVERYTHING.  Plates, bowls, mugs, more plates, even the shelf lining.  I throw away the shelf lining and do my best to disinfect the particle board shelves.  I recut some lining for the shelves and spent the next 45 minutes washing every dish that I pulled out of the cabinet, contaminated or not.  In my mind, it was all contaminated.  Never have I wanted a dishwasher so badly.

The point of me telling this long-winded story was not to bore you, although I may have successfully bored you to death.  If you are still alive and with me, the point is to let you know that I deal with crap in my life everyday - both figuratively and literally.  I struggle with being content with my life and sometimes I have to strain to see the silver lining.  Don't let the sunshine-y facade of my blog blind you - I am a real person with real problems.  I just happen to have some good things going on, and I don't mind sharing them.